Santa 2016

Dear Santa,

Merry Christmas! I know it’s been a year since I last wrote. It’s difficult to maintain a friendship communicating just once a year. Santa, are you one of those guys who believe it’s “Out of sight, out of mind,’ or rather do you subscribe to ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder?” Either way, a letter beats the modern-day equivalent of texting or email.

I suspect that this isn’t the sort of letter you usually get at the North Pole. You will notice I don’t have a long list of things I want (toys or otherwise), and I am not going to lie to you about being good.

Let’s start with the noticeably absent list of wants. Wants and needs usually don’t occupy the same space, as there really are just a few things a person needs in life. Maslow illustrated that in his famous pyramid in 1943 (I am curious – what did he ask for as a child?). My point is that I have everything I need from food and shelter to security, friendships and more. 

Even though I’m not asking you to deliver anything, if you have time when you fly by the house stop in and we can talk (I will try and stay awake this time). I will have cookies and hot chocolate out, plus you can use the bathroom to freshen up if you like. I can imagine it could be a long night otherwise.

You will notice that this year’s cookies are low-fat oatmeal and raisin, instead of the usual sugar cookies rolled out in the shape of you. Why it’s true that no one has heard of a skinny Santa, it’s also true that a morbidly obese one can’t live forever (or can you?). There must be room in the middle between skinny and fat.

Perhaps mortality isn’t a concern for you. I know it is for me; the sand in the hourglass eventually runs out. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not old, and I don’t feel old. I have friends who are in their sixties and seventies, and they’re not old either. To grow up doesn’t mean you have to grow old.

I remember one Christmas when I got what must have been one of the last toys my parents bought for me. It was a battery powered toy razor (just like Dad’s electric, but without the blades). It was a toy for a boy who was perhaps too old for toys and too young for the things of adults. I was in the middle. Once again I find myself in the middle, middle age. I don’t need more stuff; I am more interested in ways to save time and make memories. Will you have any of those in your sleigh?

Oh yes, I almost forgot the second piece. Have I been good? I’ll give you the same answer my grandson gave me when I asked him that question a couple weeks ago. “Right now I am.” Sometimes it’s still all about the present.

Please forgive me for the long pause between letters Mr. Clause. Have a blessed Christmas.

“Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men.” Luke 2:14 (KJV)

Christmas Trees

My friend Lana posted a picture of an idyllic scene where she had found her Christmas tree. “A successful hunt,” she said.

Now before I lose half of you, allow me to explain that I have hung ornaments on real and artificial Christmas trees. I can safely say we had a “good Christmas,” each year without regard to the style of tree we stood in the stand.  In fact, I think it’s safe to say that the importance of the tree was secondary at best and did not dictate the season’s outcome.  However, sometimes the tree played a big part in making a particular year memorable.

I’ve put up my share of Christmas trees, sometimes the same one twice in a season, One year when the kids were little, they thought it would be a good idea to pluck an end from the tree for their own playful purpose, and the tree came crashing down. Another time when my sister (smaller than average size) was visiting during the blessed season and chose to stroll, rather casually and without haste through the living room, the tree tipped over. Yet another year, the tree, without any provocation or forewarning (other than the previous times) fell, breaking ornaments and lights, sending needles and water to and fro.

I fashion myself a quick learner – so after a time or two of trees flinging themselves onto the floor, I invested in a wide tree stand. The stand was so wide that if assembled outside of the display area, it would have to be tipped on its side to get through the door.

A wide stand did not prevent needles from finding their way down my shirt as I lay on the floor securing the tree into the stand.  It took me a few years until I began to wear a hooded sweatshirt for the occasion – more evidence of my ability to learn quickly.

Whenever I hear people talk about “trimming the tree,” I always think of a chainsaw.  The merry attendant at the Christmas tree lot reminds you to make a fresh cut on the trunk when you get it home. I usually took the suggestion too far, forgetting that the enemy of good is better. One year I reduced a seven-foot Fraser Fir to a dwarf variety better suited as a tabletop tree.

Of the available varieties (Balsam fir, Fraser fir, Scots pine, blue spruce, white pine and Norway pine), one year we got one that could have been named brown Sahara. It was so dry that whatever needles didn’t pierce your skin as you decorated it, fell to the floor with abandon as the 25^th of the month approached. At the end of the season I hauled out what resembled a pole with some sticks protruding from the sides.

Real trees seem to resist my best efforts. I’ve knocked over lamps bringing a tree through the house, and in memory of my father, I have thought of throwing my glasses across the room when an uncooperative tree bumped them aggressively.

On the other side of the fence are artificial or heirloom trees. They are by definition fake. They come in a variety of colors (blue, green, pink and silver) and can be flocked to make them appear as if it had just snowed in your living room. For that special forest scent you can adorn them with car air fresheners, the kind that look like miniature trees.

This year, on Black Friday, my wife bought a pre-lit tree in a box. It’s not the romantic ideal of cutting one down in your woods (or your neighbor’s) or going to a tree farm, but our annual quest for the perfect tree has yielded a keeper, a trophy worthy of display.

Guests and Pests

Generally, I like to honor traditions and stay with the tried and true. I grew up in a time when most stores were closed on Sundays. There is a scene in the movie, “That Thing You Do” set in 1964, where Mr. Patterson, a middle-aged owner of an appliance store, is reading aloud from a newspaper ad for a competing store.

“Open Saturday ten to ten. Open Sunday twelve to six... open on Sunday from twelve to six! You know, I don't believe I want to live in a country where you stay open on Sunday to do business. You shouldn't have to work on Sunday to support your family.”

I wonder what Mr. Patterson would say now when many stores are not only open on Sundays, but Thanksgiving and other holidays as well. However, this trend seems to be losing some glimmer.

Whereas many retailers are closed for Thanksgiving, some will open their doors to get a jump on the Black Friday frenzy. The Mall of America’s amusement park and movie theaters will be closed, and yet the stores within the mall will make their own decision whether to be open or not. I suppose this is a test to see how people respond to staying home with their families. 

This year for Thanksgiving, in addition to our children and grandchildren, we are having my wife’s family over, plus various in-laws and so on.  I may be in-hiding that day. Mingling with the invited guests will be lingering uninvited pests. I am talking about Asian beetles – they keep showing up in our old farmhouse.

We have a large farm field across the road from our place and another one beyond the tree line. When the soybeans were harvested the beetles left the field and swarmed our house.  Clearly, insect infestations are not the farmer’s fault – it’s part of what you get when you live in the country.  It would be like moving next to a highway and then complaining about the traffic noise.

Many years ago, at Yarusso’s hardware store in Shakopee, I learned of an ingenious way to capture the beetles without a lot of fuss and muss. Instead of crushing the smelly little buggers or dumping them into the toilet, you grab a turkey baster. Helpful Hint: Have a different one on hand for the day of giving thanks.

The turkey baster works like a small vacuum cleaner. By using a proper angle of attack these beetles will allow you to sneak up and suck them into the baster. Once captured and secured with a small cover on the end, the baster will hold the beetles until disposed of with a few vigorous pumps. Some people prefer to release them back in to the wild (I can’t imagine why), while others will give them a good swim in the toilet.

I realize using a turkey baster in this manner may be off putting to those sitting at the thanksgiving table, but I plan on having one close by during the meal; it’s timely, unsightly use will be sure to rid the house of pests and guests. Sometimes the new way is better than the tried and true.

November

I think of November as the month where our nation comes together. However, it appears from my side of this essay that after our country came together to vote it was driven apart when some were not pleased with the results of the presidential election.

I am not a historian, only a casual observer and reader, but I do not recall a similar reaction in our nation’s history over the results of a presidential election, even in 1972 when our nation had grown quite weary of the Vietnam War and two polar opposites were running for President. Republican Richard Nixon was running for his second term. He had escalated the United States involvement in the War during his first term.

The Democratic candidate that year was United States Senator George McGovern. Senator McGovern, himself a war hero, strongly opposed our country’s involvement in the war.

My father and older brother, Dan, were almost as opposite, but they both had their birthdays in the same month. In November of 1972, my Dad celebrated his forty-fifth birthday, whereas Dan turned seventeen.

Dad and Dan differed on many subjects, such as musical tastes (especially volume), hairstyle (specifically length), clothes (Dad wore a suit and tie to work and to church, Dan thought jeans were suitable anywhere), and some aspects of the military (Dad was a veteran, Dan was opposed to the draft).

Dan was quite vocal in his support for McGovern, but he was too young to vote, whereas Dad represented the over-thirty crowd and the establishment. He was also a Democrat in the tradition of President Franklin Roosevelt and Vice President Hubert Humphrey. Dan later told me that Dad privately acknowledged he had voted for McGovern.

In one of the largest landslides in U.S. history, Nixon defeated McGovern and was elected to a second term. Naturally, there would have been disappointment, but to my knowledge no one broke any windows, burned any flags or blocked traffic simply because their side lost the election.

Certainly there would have been no moping in our house. Dad was not a moper and he had no patience for sore losers. I know Dan was unhappy with the outcome, and it likely fueled his dislike for President Nixon; yet he accepted it.

Here we are forty-five years later, and since both my brother and father are gone, I can only guess how they would have reacted to this year’s presidential election and the protests. I do know though, they both wanted the same things we all want: A country where we are free to worship (in suits or jeans), a country where we are free to express ourselves in music, art and literature, a country where we are free to disagree, and a country where our freedom to do all of this is protected by our military (volunteer or draft is still debatable).

November is a special month. Last week on the 11^th was Veteran’s Day, the day we honor those who served in our military. Next week we celebrate Thanksgiving, the day our nation comes together to count our many blessings.

Winners and Losers

We made our choice, and the second Tuesday of November has come and gone. Finally. I can’t remember when I was sickened more by a presidential race. I am writing this on Sunday, November 6^th, so I really have no idea who is going to win, but since there will be winners and losers, allow me to address both sides of the results.

The winners – Congratulations, I hope you’re happy and I hope your side was right, but quite honestly I fear there will come a time when you will wonder, “What was I thinking?”

You ignored all the warning signs and didn’t listen to what was being said (and what wasn’t). Was this the best we could do? I hope I’m wrong – but honestly were there ever two worse choices for President? Did you vote for your candidate because you genuinely believed they were the best, or rather were they simply, not the worst?

Now comes the hard part – living with your choice and accepting the consequences. As your candidate takes office and begins to shape the country in their image, ask yourself, is this what you had in mind, or were you duped? I hope and pray, for the sake of our country, that you were right. If not, God help us all.

The losers – Try not to take it too hard. There’s always next time (maybe). Take heart, God is still in control and he’s not worried. Hold your head up and stop moping about – those people in Washington are going to do what they are going to do, with little or no regard to what you and I think or desire.

Perhaps you were one of the few who promised to move out of the country if the other candidate won. Well, what’s taking you?

If indeed you can find another better place to live than this country you probably better move there and let us get on with our lives.

But, if you’re like me and think the future is still bright regardless of the results of Tuesday, then stick around and see what you can do to make it happen. Our leaders have let us down and they no longer lead. Instead they shock us with their lies and behavior. I am not relying on them to make things better – I will have to set an example by making life better from right here.

For me that means being kind, generous and considerate  - even with those who may not deserve it.  I don’t know what tomorrow may bring; therefore I am going to act like I can make a difference in having it turn out for the better.

Now is the time for you to go for a walk, play some music, paint that picture, read that book, write that novel, play with your children (or grandchildren), call or write a friend (much better than texting and email) and be happy. It is a choice you can make with results that will prove to be successful.