Cloudy Days

I was blessed with a mother who, among other things, enjoyed looking at clouds and finding animals, funny characters and other shapes within the clouds. I believe it was games and activities such as cloud-gazing which expanded my imagination and showed me how to look at both sides of an issue. It taught me to look for the good, the silver lining in every cloud, but it also taught me to keep watch for the clouds as well. Good and bad will often share the same stage.

However it doesn't always end well – at least where the silver shines through. Childhood gives way to adulthood and troubles loom large on the horizon and block out the sun. In life, as in drama there are two masks we must wear from time to time – comedy and tragedy.  

Some of the men whose comic work I admire have bowed out early – John Belushi, John Candy, Chris Farley, Mitch Hedberg, Andy Kaufman and now Robin Williams. Williams died last Monday, and when I heard the news a feeling of emptiness settled in.

Robin Williams had a lightning quick wit and an uncanny ability to improvise. It seems to me in order to be that funny, to find comedy in so many areas of life means the tragic side of life is close at hand waiting its turn in the wings. I can’t find any bright spot in his death; I am glad he was here however.

In 1967 Judy Collins released, “Both Sides Now,” a song written by Joni Mitchell.

I won’t give you my stanza by stanza interpretation of the words (I used to argue with my teachers and professors over “the author’s use of symbolism and foreshadowing.”), but allow me to suggest a few things I got from the song. Children start out life happy and innocent, letting their imaginations go skyward, but soon childhood visions are pushed aside when adulthood responsibilities take over. Memories linger of the clouds and those empty illusions are replaced by love lost and an unfulfilled life. The writer is left to admit that they don’t understand clouds, love, or life.

We must keep looking for the silver lining. Robin Williams – He made me laugh, he made me cry.

I suggest you listen to Collins sing as you read the lyrics.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7Xm30heHms

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
When every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now 
From win and lose and still somehow 
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all