Scammers and Schemers

My dad used to tell me that the telephone is not a toy and should not be treated as such. I don’t know what he would say about the present state of telecommunications, because although it remains true that phones are not toys; they certainly are used to play a lot of games. I played with the phone when I was a kid; I also use the phone for entertainment as a well-seasoned adult.

Once in a while someone will call my office offering to help me fix our computer. If Kathy answers such a call she will ask them to hold, and then transfers them to me. She is too busy for such silliness, and she knows how much I like to play these games.

The most recent conversation went like this: “Hello, this is Jerry.”

“This is Tony from the Windows Department. We got a report that you are having trouble with your computer.”

“I’m so glad you called – the computer has been acting up all day,” I say.

“Are you near your computer now?” Tony asks.

“Yes, yes I am.” I tell him.

“What are you seeing now?” Tony wants to know.

“Nothing.”

“Is your computer on?”

“No, should it be?” I ask.

“Yes, turn it on,” Tony instructs.

“Okay, it’s on.”

“Now I want you to press the Control button, the Windows key and the letter R,” Tony continued.

“I’m sorry, I don’t see a Control button, “ I replied.

“The Control key is in the lower left.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t see that,” I said.

“The Control key is the key that has the letters C-T-R-L on it,” said Tony with just a little bit of frustration in his voice.

“Wait a minute, are you telling me that C-T-R-L stands for Control?” I reply.

“Yes, that is the Control key. Now press that, the Windows key and the R key.”

“I’m sorry, are what?” I asked.

“R, the R key, it is between the E and the T keys,” he said with a slight edge in his voice.

“Alright, I found the R key. Now what do you want me to do with it?” I ask.

“Press the R key, the Windows Key and the Control key at the same time,” Tony commands.

“With the same hand?”

“It does not matter,” he says. Now I’ve made him angry.

“Okay, I got it,” I tell him.

“Now what do you see on your computer screen?” Tony asks.

“I see a bunch of letters,” I tell him.

“What are the letters?” Tony wants to know.

“T…O…N…Y…I…S…A…L…I…A…R. Wait a minute that spells Tony is a liar. Tony, are you lying to me?” I ask taking the conversation in a different direction. “Tony you’re trying to scam me, aren’t you?”

Of course, Tony denies it and foolishly sticks to his story about being from the Windows Department. I tell him that I know he is trying to extort money from me using this scam. I then tell him that he needs to hang up the phone, quit this dishonest job, ask God to forgive him, and try to find honest, meaningful work.

“Will you give me a job?” Tony wants to know.

“I don’t think so, my first impression of you is rather unfavorable.” I tell Tony “Good-bye” and hang up the phone, as I have had enough fun for the day.

Yeah Dad I know, the phone is not a toy, and neither is it a tool to steal.