Fifty Years

I am now middle-aged and plan to live “happily ever after.” By the time you read this I will have celebrated my 50th birthday. In the last couple months it has become clear to me that I should have bought stock in Hallmark and American Greetings. During that time my two sisters have rubbed this half century milestone in my face by sending me birthday cards (the mean kind) almost every day. One of them even signed me up for AARP.

I have learned a thing or two over the last five decades. So, in this week’s column I will do something rather presumptuous – I will share some of my observations.

No matter what anyone tells you, pasta should not be baked on a cookie sheet. It works for cookies however. But before you bake the cookies in the oven, have a generous helping of cookie dough; because raw cookie dough often tastes better than the finished product (I ignore the salmonella risk). My personal favorite is chocolate-chip oatmeal.

Dessert should be eaten first. Don’t listen to any of that “you’ll ruin your appetite,” business. You are more likely to have enough “room” at the beginning of the meal (unless you filled up on cookie dough) so take advantage of it. As age becomes more of an issue it’s wise not to put off the best part of the meal until later – because you just never know.

I like traveling light, but the amount of clothing needed for a long trip can make that difficult - so I have developed a system. It takes a little planning but the result can be rather liberating.

The next time you find a hole in your socks or underwear – don’t discard them: Put them in your suitcase, or if soiled throw them in the laundry to be cleaned for your next trip. If given enough time you can stockpile a nice supply of vacation clothing.

Now comes the fun part. At the end of each travel day you simply throw the condemned article in the garbage (be sure to remove any name tags to guard against identity theft of an embarrassing nature). By the end of your trip you will have plenty of room for souvenirs, or your traveling companion’s clothes. They may have ridiculed you previously, but they will be seeking your favor by the end of the trip.

Go to your class reunions; this may be the last chance you have to talk with people who shared your childhood. Stay in touch with family and friends - someday you won’t be able to.

Church is the best place to be on Sunday mornings. The second best place to be is the buffet line at a restaurant serving brunch.

Tip generously. A little extra will not be missed by you, but it will mean a lot to your server. When possible, spend money to save time, rather than the other way around. Money can be made again, but time can never be replaced. Children spell love T-I-M-E.

Read to children and spend time with the elderly. Pay close attention to what your mother and father say, for someday you will repeat the same words to your children. Hear your children out, even when you disagree with them. It will give you an opportunity to understand them.

If you have a rock in your shoe, get rid of it. Why go through life annoyed and irritated? The world has enough cranky people walking around.

“Once upon a time,” can start today. Live your life in a way that will count for something meaningful.