Friday, March 25, 2016

Watching Life Go By

As far as sports go, I’m more of a spectator now than a participant. I enjoy watching middle and high school sports from the stands and most professional sports from my chair.

When I was in school I played football and basketball for a few seasons, but found track and field to be a better fit for me. As a sprinter, my participation was limited to less than two minutes for an afternoon meet. The remainder of the time was spent enjoying the occasional warm spring weather and watching my teammates perform in their events. With all the variables between weather, competitors and events, there was one constant: my dad was at every meet.

Even though I frequently disappointed him both on and off the track, he was a faithful father, always showing his support. When my children were in plays, piano recitals, 4H and sports, I tried to follow my father’s example and be at every event. Although I am sure I missed some, I know I made most of them.

When the kids got older and that chapter in my life ended I remember feeling sad that it was over. It ended far too quickly without warning, but the clock doesn’t stop and there are no time-outs to be called.

As life presents new challenges and opportunities with each passing year, I was blessed to revisit the gym and field to watch my son once more. Only this time it wasn’t to watch him play, now he is the coach. Although I find it rewarding and enjoyable, the stress of the scoreboard is not as great. Perhaps it is because his role has changed, or maybe I have changed as I have aged. I still want him to win, but now I want so much more out of the game than a W; there is so much more I want out of life.

It had not occurred to me that someday, Lord willing, I will be watching my grandchildren play on a team. This revelation came to me on St. Patrick’s Day, which is also my mother’s birthday (Patricia O’Meara – 100% Irish). Even though Mom’s been gone for almost eight years, I see some of her friends from time to time. I saw one of them during a celebration of the blessed day, and she reminded me that we had often seen each other at basketball games (her grandsons and my son are about the same age). She and her husband had faithfully watched their grandsons play. She told me of the sadness she was experiencing of having attended the last of the basketball games, as her youngest grandson would be graduating from high school this spring.

Not everyone has the time, flexible schedule or geographical convenience, but my suggestion would be, if at all possible, to attend as many of your children’s (and grandchildren’s) activities as you can. It will make a difference in their lives. They will notice it, they will appreciate it, and they won’t forget that you were there.  

When life goes by so fast sometimes that all you can do is sit and watch, you may as well get a good seat.


Thursday, March 17, 2016

Recharge My Batteries

I was doing a little spring-cleaning the other day – nothing too serious mind you, just a little uncluttering. This must be done from time to time, as stuff piles up.  If I add to my possessions I must also part with some. There has to be an exchange, otherwise I would drown in a flood of junk. Life must ebb and flow – it can never be just one way. There is a natural cycle that must be adhered to so that balance is maintained: In and out, yin and yang, up and down, and positive and negative (batteries included).

In my cleaning I decided I needed to organize my battery of batteries. I’ve got a lot of batteries – small coin-shaped discs, A’s in all manner of duplication, C’s but no B’s, D’s but no E’s, and little boxy rectangles that contain nine volts. I keep a supply of all of them on hand just in case a need should arise. In my cache I have batteries that are labeled rechargeable (although I wonder), and I have chargers for just such an occasion, but my experience with them has not been positive, actually more negative (to exhaust this word play). But I hang on to them, as it is possible that perhaps I have misjudged them. I am willing to give even inanimate objects another chance.

I have chargers hooked up to a few vehicles so their batteries don’t die and freeze during the winter. Sometimes a battery is dead and it cannot be revived – even a rechargeable one.

Likewise, people get exhausted and they need a boost. Unless they’re lifeless, most everyone can get revived.

Different people need different stimulus (or stimuli if you prefer) to recharge their batteries. For me it can be a snappy conversation, a good book or an entertaining movie. Sometimes even a stroll through a shopping mall or down a gravel road can do the trick. If I’m physically exhausted an activity that involves reclining sounds most appealing. If I am so shot from too much mental exertion that I can barely remember my own name, physical exercise, like trimming trees and splitting wood, is what I need.

For some people fishing, hunting or sports can give them the boost they need. Sometimes a quiet evening at home can work magic.

Frequently, an unexpected lift will come my way. My two grandsons often fill me with joy without advance notice. Micah, the two-year old, laughing while doing his signature circular side-skip move can do the trick, or his seven-month old brother, Jonah, slowly blinking and winking at me (which I translate to mean, “I love you”) makes me feel very happy and puts the wind back in my sails.

A warm southern breeze in March can make me forget my troubles too.
Even though this has been a pretty mild winter (as Minnesota winters go) and we’re not quite out of the woods yet, I do feel like I have sprung ahead out of the winter blues.

In Minnesota we learn to take the positive with the negative. The winter makes us enjoy the spring that much more. For if it was always summer what would we would have to look forward to for a recharge of our batteries? When would we ever feel the need to do spring-cleaning?


Thursday, March 10, 2016

Statesman Wanted

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan passed away on Sunday, March 6th. I was in college when Ronald Reagan was first elected President of The United States. As I got older, I learned to appreciate the man that President Reagan was. Reagan had class, unlike some of our current presidential candidates.

As I watch the debates I shake my head in disgust; when I listen to the speeches, I put my head in my hands in disbelief; while reading the newspaper, I hang my head in despair.

I submit that Ronald Reagan was a statesman and I include Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin and Abraham Lincoln in that group. I have my own sense of what I believe a statesman is, but Webster’s definition, “A person who is experienced in the art of government or versed in the administration of government affairs,” left me wanting more.

I found an article written by Brett and Kate McKay titled “The 4 Qualities of a True Statesman.” One (or both) of them had a college professor, Dr. J. Rufus Fears, who had outlined what I was searching for.

According to the article, Dr. Fears believed that, “a politician and a statesman are not the same thing.” According to Dr. Fears, four characteristics define a statesman: a bedrock of principles, a moral compass, a vision, and the ability to build a consensus to achieve that vision.”

The first quality, Bedrock of Principles, is “a foundation of firm, unchanging, fundamental truths. These are the things he believes at his very core, his overarching philosophy.”

The second quality, A Moral Compass, separates the statesman from the politician. Whereas a politician “figures out which way the wind is blowing, he then shapes himself and his message to give the people exactly what they want. A statesman does not govern by public opinion polls.”

“The true statesman makes his decisions by following the dictates of his own moral compass. His moral compass is rooted in a sense of absolute right and absolute wrong. He is a man of integrity; he speaks the truth. He represents all that is best in his countrymen.”

In the third quality, “a statesman has a clear Vision of what his country and his people can become. He knows where he wants to take them and what it will take to get there. A statesman’s foresight is one of his most important qualities, as he must be able to recognize problems on the horizon and be able to come up with solutions that are good not only for the short-term, but for the long-term as well.”

The fourth quality, “The Ability to Build a Consensus to Achieve That Vision.”  “A statesman’s success in building a consensus ultimately hinges on his ability to convince his countrymen of the soundness of his philosophy. The statesman harnesses the power of the written, and especially the spoken word. He is a master orator. His lifelong study of great books and the lessons of history allow him to speak to the people in intelligent, potent, well-reasoned arguments. The strength of his words comes from the fact that he actually believes what he says. He keeps his word and does what he says he will do.”


How far we have fallen. We need principled, moral candidates with a vision who can lead this country, for they will be remembered as dedicated statesmen long after they have passed away.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Need to be Wanted

Whenever I part with my family I always tell them, “Call if you need anything.” It’s not meant as a joke, rather I want to help them in any way I can. I believe I have a good imagination, so I consider some of the possibilities of when I will be called: perhaps they will need a ride somewhere; there may be a problem I can help them solve. It might be that they just need someone to listen to them or a shoulder to lean on. Maybe they just need some money.

I say to call if they “need anything” instead of if they “want anything,” as that list could be much longer. My thesaurus tells me that a need is synonymous with necessity or requirement, whereas a want is similar in meaning to a wish or a desire.
What we want is not always what we need and vice versa. As a kid, I was often told I “needed a good spanking.” Clearly, I did not want one.

To muddy the water further and drive more readers from finishing this silly commentary, may I suggest that most of us (including me) want to be needed? We desire that others will include us, respect us, and befriend us. No one wants to be the last kid waiting to be picked for a team, no one wants to sit at home waiting for the phone to ring or to eat lunch by themselves in a crowded cafeteria.

In sixth grade I was a new kid in a new school. I expected to be treated as an outcast and shunned by the other kids. Instead, Mark, the most popular kid in the class, befriended me and my life was forever changed. I gained self-confidence and learned that school was a place where I could find happiness and joy. I needed a friend and Mark stepped forward, and for that I will love him forever.

As an adult, my needs have largely remained the same: I still need friends who want to include me in their activities, and I want to be needed; I am needy that way. Still, I don’t have too many ill-conceived perceptions where my services are required. My office runs just fine without me there, my wife needs no help in baby-sitting our grandsons, I am never called to help with a construction project in the neighborhood, and the band I play with probably sounds better without me and my banjo. Still, it’s nice to be included. Often I am forced to conclude that I am neither needed here nor there and I move on to the next void.

I believe it’s necessary to be flexible in one’s schedule so that if you are called to help you have options available to you. I want to be the kind of guy who can be counted on when people ask for my support. It’s important to me that my friends and family know I would do anything for them. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” And family.