Season's Greetings

Some (many?) people think I’m a kook. I certainly have qualities and characteristics that could earn me that label. That’s O.K., I don’t mind – I’m just trying to improve the world, or at least my world.

Let me address the exchange of customary greetings, seasonal first, and if space allows, the other kind. “How was your Christmas?” I never know quite what to say when asked this. What do they mean, what information are they looking for? I think it’s a much harder question to answer than the simple “how are you?”

To answer “fine,” to the Christmas question seems to suggest a problem. You can read the guesses in the frowns of the interrogators. “Is it your family?” “Yes, the holidays can be tough on a family’s budget.” “Did you goof-up your wife’s gift again?”

No one is supposed to say “fine.” The correct response to “how was your Christmas?” is “very nice thank you, how about yours?”

There are of course the well-intentioned who truly want an answer. With that bunch there is always a follow-up inquiry which begins a series about family, food, travel, holly and the ivy.

I’m sorry - I usually am not that interested. I say usually to allow for exceptions – you see there might be somebody reading this with whom I have had this conversation, so for you, please know that I care very much about your Christmas experiences. You know I do.

I was talking about this with my friend Lance the other day. Is it a genuine question that demands an answer or is it a quick polite exchange to note the passing of the holiday? Is it fluff and filler or a conversation starter? Whether I am over-analyzing it is up for discussion; but you can be sure that I am offending someone. Sorry, I think my own problem with the question is I never really know what direction to take the answer.

Let’s start with the materialistic angle. An alternative question gets more to the point: “Was Santa good to you?” But some folks would rather ignore the jolly saint so they ask “did you have a nice Christmas?” when what they really mean is “tell me about your presents.” So, do I go down the list of the things I got, pausing for effect on the really cool stuff? Or are they looking for “very nice thank you, how about yours?”

Perhaps the question is asked from a religious or spiritual perspective. But to make that assumption and answer with a carol by carol recounting of “midnight mass,” or a recitation of “The Christmas Story,” may sound kind of preachy, and could risk offending people who think Christmas has just “got too religious.”

Maybe it’s the social aspect. They may be looking for details regarding the parties I attended (one), the friends who came over to “see the tree,” (four), or the places we traveled for Christmas (one). Again, I must tell you I just never know what to say.

The weather was fine, the food was good, I got some stuff, saw some friends and family, went to church (twice, I think), did some last minute shopping, listened to my favorite Vince Guaraldi CD. Yeah it was nice. How about you?

Well anyway it’s the middle of January and I probably (hopefully) won’t hear that question again for another year. So in the meantime let me address another greeting that gets to me. When I am asked “how’s Jerry,” I stutter and stumble. Why are they addressing me in the third person? Do they think I’m crazy?