May 1st

I opened my office May 1st, 1985. For those of you who struggle with math that was 25 years ago. Good grief that sounds like a long time ago.

No cards have been sent and no party is planned, so please don’t interpret this as a sideways attempt to invite well-wishes. In 25 years a person can amass quite a list of stories. So please allow me to use this space and share some of them with you.

With my first office I shared a lobby with Dr. Jack Hobday. Besides being a skilled Chiropractor; Dr. Hobday is one of the finest men I have ever met. I still see him from time to time.

As is often the case in my business, people will drop in without an appointment. One day a man walked in my office and sat in a chair across the desk from me.

“What would you like to talk about?” I asked him.

“I’m having a little trouble with my neck,” he replied while grimacing and grabbing his neck.

“Me too,” I said as I stood up. “Should we go see if Dr. Hobday is free?”

One afternoon a woman walked in and sat down in the same chair (apparently a running gag).

While leaning forward she placed her hands on the desk and said to me, “How do my eyes look to you?”

At first I thought it was a set-up, and then it dawned on me: She was there to see Dr. Monroe. Dr. Monroe, an optometrist, had been the previous tenant.

My last story revolving around the desk chairs literally revolved around the desk chairs. Occasionally I will greet a customer in the lobby and then walk them back to my office. Without ever spelling it out, people usually allow me to sit behind the desk and they sit on the other side.

Except one time this guy walked around to the back of the desk and sat in my chair. I like to have fun too, so I sat in his chair: I smiled at him with a knowing kind of grin. He just stared back at me, as if waiting me for to say something. I chuckled a little. He stared back. I leaned back and laughed. He stared.

Finally I got up and said, “You know, it might work better if we changed seats.”

He shrugged his shoulders and got out of my chair. The rest of our meeting remained awkward. To this day I don’t know if he made a mistake in choosing a chair, or if he was a comedic genius.

Making house calls is part of the job. One particular house had a dog the size of a giant wolf. When I got out of my truck the dog was barking ferociously, but there was a woman standing on the front steps so naturally I assumed everything was under control.

With my arms in a defensive position to protect my face I asked her, “Is your dog OK?”

“Yes, he’s fine. Just don’t put your arms down,” she said.

With my arms raised I walked as if under arrest. About a year later I was back at the same place. When I pulled into the driveway I didn’t see the monster; but the lady was waiting on the front steps.

“Where’s your dog?” I asked.

“The delivery man ran him over a couple months ago,” she said.

“On the first try?” I asked under my breath.

Thanks for the last 25 years. I don’t know what tomorrow may bring so
stay tuned for episode 26.