Wedding Planner

I believe in the concept of life long learning, and not just because of the alliteration. Since there is so much I don’t know it’s not too difficult to pursue a new idea or skill.

One of my many shortcomings is tying knots, so I bought a book on the subject; you know, to learn the ropes. The book even came with several ropes of various lengths and widths (no extra charge). I know this may look to some as an unnecessary academic exercise but it’s obvious I need some help.

I can tie my tie, tie my shoe and tie a simple overhand knot (fancy name for the knot when the loops on your shoe laces disappear and you are left with a criss-crossed mess). But anything more complicated and I embarrass myself.

I will usually step back and allow someone else to secure a load. When I find myself alone with a length of rope and loose cargo I will lasso, and loop until only a sharp knife can undo the damage, so I always carry a sharp knife.

After inspecting a tangled web I wove around equipment on a flat-bed trailer one guy remarked, “It’s a good thing you’re not transporting wild animals.”

I was upstairs the other night practicing my new skill. I had just finished tying the chair to the table when I felt a little guilty. Downstairs my wife, Rhonda, was helping our daughter, Jennifer, plan her wedding. Surely I could once again offer some assistance.

I had already given my opinion about the food for the reception. I wanted some bread on the tables and maybe some fancy-flavored creams for the coffee.

One night I even went dress shopping with Rhonda. She really appreciates my opinion in this area. I had selected a couple attractive numbers, and for fun I picked out one that my grandmother might have worn to her funeral.

“What do you think of this one?” I asked as I held up Grandma’s dress.

“Nice,” she said.

“What do you think of these two?” I asked.

“Are you crazy?” She said. “These won’t work with the bridesmaid dresses.”

“Why not?” I wondered.

“You don’t know what color their dresses are, do you?”

“Yes. Yes, I do. They’re kind of a . . . Well they won’t work with these dresses, that’s for sure.

“The bridesmaid dresses are red. The wedding colors are red and white,” she told me as if she was getting tired of repeating herself and had reached the end of her rope.

When I got downstairs Rhonda and Jennifer were discussing the schedule and how to coordinate times for the big day. I listened politely for a few minutes and then concluded the discussion by pointing out the logical times so that the day would flow smoothly. Satisfied that we had made real progress I was surprised that twenty minutes later we were back on the scheduling subject again. When I reminded them we had already decided all of that I was told to be quiet.

Sensing that the evening was about to unravel I retreated to my room to do some more reading. I’m sure everything for the wedding will fall into place with or without my help, and I look forward to that day in May when Jennifer and Adam (her fiancé’) tie their knot on the altar.

In the meantime I need to learn how to loosen the tie with my daughter so that it doesn’t bind her but gives her something solid to start with. I don’t want to cut that knot completely – but I need to let out some more line. I don’t have a book that can teach me how to let my daughter go.