Bingo

Most people can spell it, and I would guess that most people have played it. It’s a simple game, yet it is popular with children and adults. Depending upon the variation played, there is usually more than one way to win: four corners, horizontal and vertical, diagonal and an occasional cover-all. Bingo – you guessed it.

I first played bingo in the basement of our church and have played it in dozens of parks and church halls ever since. I don’t remember ever winning, although having played the game many times over almost fifty years its hard to imagine that I didn’t get to shout out its namesake at least once.

I remember watching my dad call bingo in the basement of the church and at the park during Barbeque Days in Belle Plaine. He approached the game in a straight-forward, no-nonsense style; he called out the letter/number combinations clearly and succinctly, repeating them only once. Everyone was tuned in to his baritone voice waiting and hoping that he would call the number they needed so they could shout, “Bingo!”

“Bingo’s been called, hold your cards please,” was his reply.

In the last few years I have followed in my dad’s footsteps once more, because I too became one of the chosen few – a bingo caller at Barbeque Days and Derby Days. Now having been on the other side of the rolling balls I can let you in on my life as a bingo caller.

The traditional game is simple enough, but like most everything else it has been tampered with. The changes make it more difficult for the caller. Let me explain.

When four corners is chosen as the exclusive way to win then the only numbers that qualify are those that track with the B and O. That’s a lot to remember when the balls are rolling toward you at fifty miles an hour; a guy can get confused. But the confusion never lasts long, as the crowd is quick to remind you of your error and shout out instructions.

The serious bingo player likes their game called at a measured pace and to the point. Go too slow and they get impatient, go too fast and they will tell you to slow down, but just a little bit as they want the game to keep moving. Don’t talk too loud lest you annoy them, too soft and they can’t hear you. It’s serious business.

Staying serious in anything has been a life-long challenge for me.  So to make bingo calling interesting I have worked up a few comments to go with some of the numbers; I’m sure there are others. Feel free to use them the next time you are asked to call bingo.

I usually start out the first game by telling the crowd that although I don’t take requests I will on occasion do a dedication, and then later when B4 comes up I will say, “This ones going out from Elvis to Priscilla. “Priscilla, before I met you I was lost. B4.”

B1, the call to conform. Join the club.

B2, or not 2B; Shakespeare’s number.

B8, looks the same upside down – sort of.

B9, good news from the doctor – “the tests came back from the lab and it’s benign.”   

B12, the vitamin.

B13, the lucky one.

I16 going on 17, innocent as a rose.

I17 going on 18 I’ll take care of you.

I18, and I like it – so says Alice Cooper.

I21, yes, but I still need to see some identification.

I29, the interstate that runs between the Dakotas and Minnesota and down to Missouri.

G55, gee officer I’m sure I was only going 55.

I didn’t say they were funny, it’s just something to crazy it up a bit. I can’t just sit there and do things the normal way; I look for a different way to play – Because I Need Goofy Options.