How Many In Your Party?

When I look back and count my blessings, I must include some wonderful pets. There were two dogs – Max, a large German shepherd who feared nothing. Max understood English (and possibly German), and he communicated his wishes clearly to sheep, other dogs and more than one trespasser. Buddy, a Great Dane/black Labrador mix, employed a combination of body language and vocal inflections to express himself. This huge dog would often growl while he leaned into someone to let them know that he wanted to be petted.

Having lived out in the country for twenty-five years has given me the opportunity to have many animals: chickens, a cow, ducks, geese, goats, horses, pigeons, sheep, turkeys and dozens of cats.

Perhaps the cleverest of the cats I have kept company with was one from over thirty years ago. Before we were married, Rhonda gave me a kitten for my birthday. Mitsy was a tiny, calico that I immediately became attached to. I was living in an apartment in St. Cloud between my junior and senior year of college, where I taught Mitsy to retrieve.

I would place her behind a foot stool in the middle of the living room, and from the other side of the room I would toss a crumpled ball of paper over the stool. Soon, she began to leap up, grab the ball of paper and bring it back to me and then return to the other side of the stool. After a while, whenever I crumpled up some paper she would run behind the stool and wait for the toss.

That summer Rhonda was invited to her grandparent’s cabin; Rhonda brought me with her and I brought along Mitsy. It didn’t occur to me to ask for permission (I can only assume I was invited). The kitten was neither leashed nor caged and soon after we got there she ran and hid (the kitten, not Rhonda’s grandmother). We found her after several hours of searching – and what is most remarkable I was invited back again. But, I never brought that cat, or a dog into another person’s home (or cabin) again.

There are many people who do not hesitate to bring their dog to another person’s house. Never mind that the dog may shed, bite, growl, have fleas, do their business on the kitchen floor, or sit in the host’s favorite chair. Apparently it doesn’t matter because the guest considers them part of their family.

I have wondered how far that practice can be pushed. I personally know people whose pets include chickens.

“Welcome to our home. I see you brought a chicken with you, but I’ve got a roast in the oven.”

“No silly, Clucky is part of the family. Now if we’re lucky and quiet, she may even lay an egg on your sofa.”

It is incomprehensible to me that I would light a cigar while reclining at the table of my host (without first asking) or let out a large unrestrained burp (or worse). To do so would bring a sharp reprimand from my wife and perhaps a scornful scowl from others present. Yet, to bring a pet into someone else’s home without invitation or permission is thought, at least by those on either end of the leash, to be within the parameters of polite society.

The next time you walk into a fine dining establishment and the maitre d’ asks, “How many in your party?” Just for fun, ask them if your pet is to be included in the count.