Guests and Pests

Generally, I like to honor traditions and stay with the tried and true. I grew up in a time when most stores were closed on Sundays. There is a scene in the movie, “That Thing You Do” set in 1964, where Mr. Patterson, a middle-aged owner of an appliance store, is reading aloud from a newspaper ad for a competing store.

“Open Saturday ten to ten. Open Sunday twelve to six... open on Sunday from twelve to six! You know, I don't believe I want to live in a country where you stay open on Sunday to do business. You shouldn't have to work on Sunday to support your family.”

I wonder what Mr. Patterson would say now when many stores are not only open on Sundays, but Thanksgiving and other holidays as well. However, this trend seems to be losing some glimmer.

Whereas many retailers are closed for Thanksgiving, some will open their doors to get a jump on the Black Friday frenzy. The Mall of America’s amusement park and movie theaters will be closed, and yet the stores within the mall will make their own decision whether to be open or not. I suppose this is a test to see how people respond to staying home with their families. 

This year for Thanksgiving, in addition to our children and grandchildren, we are having my wife’s family over, plus various in-laws and so on.  I may be in-hiding that day. Mingling with the invited guests will be lingering uninvited pests. I am talking about Asian beetles – they keep showing up in our old farmhouse.

We have a large farm field across the road from our place and another one beyond the tree line. When the soybeans were harvested the beetles left the field and swarmed our house.  Clearly, insect infestations are not the farmer’s fault – it’s part of what you get when you live in the country.  It would be like moving next to a highway and then complaining about the traffic noise.

Many years ago, at Yarusso’s hardware store in Shakopee, I learned of an ingenious way to capture the beetles without a lot of fuss and muss. Instead of crushing the smelly little buggers or dumping them into the toilet, you grab a turkey baster. Helpful Hint: Have a different one on hand for the day of giving thanks.

The turkey baster works like a small vacuum cleaner. By using a proper angle of attack these beetles will allow you to sneak up and suck them into the baster. Once captured and secured with a small cover on the end, the baster will hold the beetles until disposed of with a few vigorous pumps. Some people prefer to release them back in to the wild (I can’t imagine why), while others will give them a good swim in the toilet.

I realize using a turkey baster in this manner may be off putting to those sitting at the thanksgiving table, but I plan on having one close by during the meal; it’s timely, unsightly use will be sure to rid the house of pests and guests. Sometimes the new way is better than the tried and true.